How to Encourage Play in Autistic Children (Without Forcing It)

Feeling as if your little one has drifted off to a different planet while you sit on the floor with a sea of scattered toys is something most parents can relate to.

Parents with autistic children often have to deal with emotionally called chaotic play. Perhaps your kid prefers arranging toys rather than using their imagination and pretending to play. Or, as the worst case, they do not pay any attention to the toys. In other scenarios, a child might not “play with” a car, but just continue to spin its wheels.

You might wonder:

• Am I doing something wrong?

• Should I be correcting this?

• Will they ever play with me the way other kids do?

  
  

We get it. Play can feel like a mystery. But here’s the good news:

Your child is already telling you how to connect, we just have to listen differently.

This blog is packed with real-life, research-backed ways to encourage play in children with autism. But if you’re thinking, “Okay, I want to start now — like, today, with the toys we already have” — we’ve got you.

We put together a free PDF called Teach Real Play Skills that walks you through a super simple 3-step method we use with our own son (and with families we support every day). It works with almost any toy, even the ones your child usually ignores. You’ll get word-for-word scripts, real examples, and tips to help your child stay engaged, use more language, and actually enjoy playing together.

Click here to download Teach Real Play Skills — and get started today with what you already have at home.

Why Play Looks Different in Autism — And Why That’s Okay

Play is how children learn language, social skills, and emotional regulation. In fact, the CDC emphasizes that play is essential for healthy brain development, starting in infancy.. But for autistic children, play might look completely different from what you expected, and that’s okay.

If your child isn’t pretending, taking turns, or using toys “the right way,” it doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means they’re learning and connecting in a different way.

Here’s what’s really happening:

• Many neurotypical play routines rely on imagination, imitation, and rapid social cues, which may not feel intuitive or rewarding to an autistic child.

• Autistic children often gravitate toward repetitive actions, sensory-rich activities, or cause-and-effect toys. These aren’t “wrong” — they’re valuable developmental paths.

• Open-ended, unstructured play can feel overwhelming, especially without clear expectations or routines.

  
  

Rather than attempting to “fix” play, it is more useful to shift your frame of reference. Your child’s play is not just a skill to be taught — it’s a gateway into their world. It is a form of communication.

That is a significant shift for many parents. We learn a specific version of what play is. But encouraging play in autism is not about the “right” script; it is about paying attention to how your child is trying to connect and starting from there.

Real progress does not start when they meet our expectations. It begins when we meet them at their current reality.

1. Follow Your Child’s Lead (Even If It Doesn’t Look Like Play)

A lot of parents ask me:

“What do I do if my child just lines up toys over and over again?”

It’s a great question, and it’s one that comes with a lot of emotion underneath. Fear. Frustration. That quiet worry that maybe you’re doing something wrong or that your child is missing out on real play.

But here’s the truth: lining up toys is play. It’s meaningful, it’s purposeful, and it’s a window into how your child thinks.

When my son was two, he became obsessed with opening and closing his closet door. Not once. Not twice. Dozens of times. And like most parents, I found myself trying to “redirect” him to something more meaningful. “Want to read a book?” “Let’s play with the blocks instead!”

It never worked.

So one day, I stopped redirecting and simply joined him. I stood next to him. Opened the door gently with him. Made a silly “Creeeaaak!” sound. He laughed. I mirrored his rhythm. Eventually, he looked at me, handed me a toy from the closet, and we played together for the first time that day.

That moment didn’t come from a plan. It came from presence.

And it’s the same with autistic children. Whether they’re lining up toys, spinning objects, or focusing on one part of a toy, there’s always an opportunity to connect, but only if we stop trying to change the behavior and start joining it. Play can look different for every autistic child, and that’s okay. Autism Speaks offers a helpful breakdown of how play skills develop and what to expect across different developmental levels.

What child-led play can look like (with real ideas to try):

• If your child lines up cars or blocks: Get your own and quietly line them up alongside theirs. Match their color pattern or make a “challenge,” “I’m going to make the longest blue line!”

• If they’re spinning objects or fascinated by wheels: Introduce salad spinners, tops, or create spinning art with paper plates and markers. Spin together and say, “Whoa! That one’s so fast!”

• If they love cause-and-effect play (push button → thing pops): Try pop-up toys, wind-up animals, musical keyboards, or anything that makes something “happen.” Narrate the action in a playful voice.

  
  

Still not sure what to do? Our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills, walks you through our favorite way to join, add, and wait  without interrupting your child’s play style.

Why this works:

When you follow your child’s lead, you’re telling them, “What matters to you matters to me.” And that opens the door to joint attention, imitation, and social connection — all critical ingredients in play-based learning for autism.

Instead of pulling your child away from their world, you’re showing them you’re safe, fun, and worth engaging with. And when that happens, the learning follows.

2. Simplify the Play Environment (So Your Child Can Focus and Connect)

One of the first things parents often tell me is:

“We have so many toys… but my child just ignores all of them.”

And I get it — I’ve been there. Our living room used to look like a toy store exploded. But more toys doesn’t mean more play. In fact, for many autistic children, too many options can shut play down completely.

When our son was a toddler, we had an entire cube shelf filled with everything from puzzles to trains to a toy kitchen. He’d bounce from one thing to the next, sometimes just dumping baskets out and walking away. He wasn’t misbehaving. He was overwhelmed.

So we made a change.

We stored away 80% of the toys. We created one small “yes” space for play. We turned off the background noise, pulled out two simple toys, and just sat with him.

And you know what? He actually started to play longer. He stayed curious. He invited us in.

For children with autism, simplifying the environment is often the first (and most important) step in encouraging meaningful play. This is especially true if you’re trying to do ABA-based play therapy at home.

What a simplified play environment can look like:

• Only 2–3 toys available at a time. Keep the rest in clear bins or a closet for easy rotation.

• Create a defined space for play. A rug, mat, or corner of the room sends a clear signal: “This is where we play.”

• Reduce background noise.Turn off the TV (even if it’s “just in the background”), avoid music with lyrics, and try to keep lights soft.

• Use visual organization. Use trays, small baskets, or shelves with labels so toys are easy to see and put away.

  
  

Pro Tip: Sensory toys are a great way to anchor early play — and they don’t have to be expensive. Try bins of rice, dry pasta, kinetic sand, water beads, or even a bowl of ice cubes and spoons. These sensory play ideas help regulate your child’s nervous system while encouraging hands-on exploration.

Why this works:

Simplifying the play space removes distraction and decision fatigue. It helps your child focus, stay regulated, and actually enjoy the activity in front of them.

Think of it this way: If a noisy restaurant makes it hard for you to have a conversation, a cluttered, loud play space can make it just as hard for your child to engage.

Want an easy way to set this up at home?

Our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills, includes a printable Toy Rotation Guide and examples of how to create a calm, focused play space using what you already have.

You don’t need to buy anything new. You just need the right setup and a plan that works for your child.

3. Use Silly Play to Spark Engagement (Even If They Don’t Play Back)

One of the hardest things for parents to experience is when their child doesn’t respond.

You try to play. You bring out the toys. You make the silly sound. And… nothing.

They just keep doing what they were doing. Or worse, they walk away.

It’s easy to feel discouraged in that moment. Like, maybe your child isn’t interested in connecting with you. But that’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is this:

Your child is watching. Processing. Learning.

They’re taking it in, even if they’re not ready to respond just yet.

I remember one afternoon when my wife and I were crawling on the floor pretending to be silly animals. We weren’t doing it for Instagram. We were doing it because it was the only thing that got our toddler to laugh that week. And that laugh? It was everything. Not because it was cute, but because it meant we’d reached him. We were in.

While it might look silly or repetitive, these small routines are laying the groundwork for language, problem-solving, and flexible thinking. As Zero to Three puts it, “play is serious work” for young children.

For autistic children, silly play can be the key that unlocks connection, especially when traditional social games feel too overwhelming or confusing.

What silly play can look like (for building social engagement):

• Use dramatic gestures. Fly a toy airplane across the room with exaggerated sound effects: “WOOOOOSH!”

• Let a puppet “steal” your snack. “Hey! That was my cracker!” Your child might giggle — or grab it back. Either way, you’re in a shared moment.

• Pretend a toy is alive. A block becomes a robot. A spoon becomes a sleepy giraffe. Anything can be part of the story.

• Be chase-able. Crawl slowly and let your child “catch” you. Say “You got me!” in a playful voice.

  
  

And if they don’t join in right away?

Keep going. Don’t force it. Let them see that play is safe, predictable, and fun, without pressure.

Why this works:

Silly, exaggerated play lowers social pressure. It allows children to engage at their own pace. It builds the foundation for imitation, facial referencing, turn-taking, and shared enjoyment — all of which are core to building social skills in autism.

When you’re silly, you become more interesting than the toy. And when you become more interesting than the toy, the interaction becomes the play.

If you’re not sure what to say or how to make a toy “come alive,” grab our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills. It includes word-for-word scripts, silly interaction ideas, and ways to adjust the play based on your child’s response, even if they’re just watching.

4. Build Predictable Play Routines (So Your Child Knows What to Expect)

One of the most common frustrations I hear from parents is:

“My child doesn’t really know how to play. I try something new, and they just walk away.”

That makes total sense. Imagine walking into a party where you don’t know the rules, the games keep changing, and no one tells you what’s expected. You’d want to leave, too.

That’s what open-ended play often feels like for autistic children — unpredictable, confusing, and stressful.

But when play has a clear beginning, middle, and end? Suddenly, it feels safe. Engaging. Even fun.

That’s why structured play routines are one of the most effective ways to teach play at home. You don’t need fancy therapy materials — just a few simple actions, done consistently.

What a predictable play routine might look like:

• Stack blocks → Knock them over → Say “Uh-oh!” Repeat 2–3 times in the same sequence.

• Wind up a toy → Watch it go → Clap! Keep your actions consistent each time so your child knows what’s coming.

• Water play → Dry hands → Snack time This builds a sensory-motor routine that regulates and transitions smoothly.

When my son was younger, we had a little bedtime routine that wasn’t in any parenting book. After bath, we’d stack three plastic cups, knock them down together, and shout “Boom!” every single night. That moment became the bridge between bath and bed — not just because it was predictable, but because it was ours.

For families doing autism play therapy at home, these mini-routines can anchor your day and turn ordinary moments into powerful learning opportunities.

Why this works:

Predictability builds confidence. When your child knows what comes next, they’re more likely to stay engaged, take turns, and eventually start adding their own ideas to the routine, which is the foundation for flexible, creative play.

Structured routines also reduce anxiety and support emotional regulation, especially for children who struggle with transitions or uncertainty.

Want help building your own routines? Our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills, includes simple play sequences you can start today, plus a printable Play Routine Builder to help you create your own step-by-step games using toys you already have.

Because once play feels safe, connection, creativity, and communication can follow.

5. Celebrate the Smallest Wins (Because That’s Where the Real Progress Is)

If you’re only looking for big milestones, like pretend tea parties or playing catch with friends, it’s easy to miss the real progress that’s happening right in front of you.

Because for many autistic children, play doesn’t start with imagination.

It starts with a glance.

It starts with a handover of a toy.

It starts when they do something one more time because you laughed the first time.

I once worked with a parent who burst into tears during a session because her daughter made eye contact while rolling a ball back and forth, something they’d never experienced before. No words. No instructions. Just a moment of we’re doing this together. That one moment meant more than any checklist ever could.

These are early play milestones in autism, and they’re powerful. They deserve to be noticed, celebrated, and tracked.

What small-but-important wins might look like:

• Your child hands you a toy instead of playing alone

• They glance at you when something funny happens

• They copy a silly sound you made, even for a second

• They stay with an activity for 30 seconds longer than usual

It might not look like “real” play to an outside observer. But to you? To your child? It’s connection. It’s learning. It’s progress.

And when you start to notice these small moments, you begin to see how much is actually working — even if the big milestones haven’t shown up yet.

Try this simple habit at home:

• Track one “win” each week. Write it down, take a photo, or share it with your partner or BCBA.

• Create a “Play Wins” wall. A whiteboard, sticky note corner, or digital album where you keep the little things that make a big difference.

• Celebrate out loud. “You gave me the toy!” “You did it again!” “I saw that — that was awesome!”

  
  

Why this works

Recognizing growth boosts your confidence, helps your therapy team stay aligned, and — most importantly — keeps your child moving forward. It’s not just feel-good fluff. It’s how you reinforce behavior and motivation over time.

Our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills, includes a printable Play Wins Tracker and word-for-word scripts to help you respond in ways that keep the moment going,  and build toward even bigger wins later.

Final Thoughts: Encouraging Play in Autism Is About Connection — Not Perfection

Encouraging play in autism isn’t about fixing your child.

It’s not about getting them to play the “right” way.

It’s about building a bridge:

• From isolation to interaction

• From confusion to confidence

• From loneliness to laughter

You already have what you need to start.

Not perfect toys. Not perfect plans. Just your presence, your patience, and your willingness to join their world — even when it looks different from what you expected.

If you’re ready to bring more joy, ease, and connection into playtime…

Download our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills — and start today with toys you already have at home.

Or, if you’d like more support, reach out to us for a free parent coaching consultation.

We’ll walk alongside you — every step of the way.

Because you don’t have to do this alone.

And when you’re ready to talk about your child’s diagnosis with friends, family, or teachers, we’ve created some simple, real-world parenting scripts that actually work — so you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Bonus Resources for Play-Based Learning in Autism

Top 10 Toys for Nonverbal Autistic Children That Encourage Communication

If you’re looking for more ideas on supporting play and leisure over time, the National Autistic Society has a great overview with suggestions tailored to different ages and needs.

Want more examples of how to turn everyday toys into meaningful interaction? Here’s how to teach play skills using toys you already own — no new purchases required.

Frequently Asked Questions About Encouraging Play in Autism

How do you teach an autistic child to play?

Start by following your child’s interests — even if it doesn’t look like “typical” play. Simplify the play space, reduce distractions, and join their world without trying to change it. Use structured routines and silly moments to build trust and connection. You don’t need fancy therapy tools — just consistency, curiosity, and compassion.

Need help getting started? Download our free guide, Teach Real Play Skills.

What toys are best for encouraging play in autism?

Don’t overthink it, even a cardboard box or kitchen whisk can spark play when you know how to join in. For inspiration, check out our guide to the top 10 toys for nonverbal autistic children that encourage communication.

Some of the best toys for autistic children are simple, interactive, and sensory-friendly. Think:

• Cause-and-effect toys (pop-up animals, wind-up cars)

• Building toys (blocks, magnetic tiles)

• Sensory items (water beads, kinetic sand, textured balls)

• Toys that allow turn-taking or pretend (puppets, toy food, vehicles)

You don’t need a whole new toy shelf — many household items work just as well. For ideas based on what your child already loves, check out our post on the best toys for nonverbal autistic children.

Why is play difficult for some autistic children?

Play often involves open-ended, unpredictable interactions — and that can feel overwhelming for many autistic kids. Without clear rules or structure, it may be hard for your child to know how to join in or stay engaged. Some children also prefer routines or sensory input that doesn’t match “typical” play. The good news? By adjusting the environment and your expectations, you can create play opportunities that feel safer, more inviting, and more rewarding for your child. For more insight on why play may feel different or difficult, this guide from Understood.org breaks it down with examples and parent-friendly explanations.